(you might also like: Six Surprising Reasons She Didn’t Swipe Right, What’s a Modern Old-Fashioned Gentleman, The True Lady)

If you’ve found yourself in this situation, here are some common mistakes you may have made and how you can fix them to improve your chances next time.

1. Your First Message Was Generic and Boring

Let’s face it: women with great profiles get flooded with messages. If she’s attractive, has a well-crafted profile, a stable career, and diverse interests, she’s probably getting more attention than you can imagine. And in a sea of “Hey, how’s it going?” and “What’s up, beautiful?”, your message needs to stand out.

Women who are serious about finding a long-term partner have no patience for generic lines. They’ve taken the time to upload high-quality photos and craft a thoughtful bio, so the least you can do is show you’ve put effort into your first message. Reference something specific from her profile, whether it’s a hobby she mentioned, an interesting travel story, or her favorite type of music. And if she’s asked for a specific kind of message, respect that request. Don’t waste her time with an unoriginal intro; if you do, she’ll likely ignore you and focus on men who are genuinely interested and make an effort to connect.

If you’ve already sent a bad message, don’t panic—try again! Revisit her profile and think of something unique and meaningful to say. Just remember: anything that could be sent to another woman won’t make the cut.

2. You Didn’t Read Her Profile (And Wasted Her Time)

One of the quickest ways to get unmatched is by showing you didn’t read her profile at all. If she’s clearly mentioned specific preferences, whether it’s her ideal relationship type, her career, her interests, or even something as simple as her location or height preferences, and you don’t match what she’s looking for, don’t waste her time. If you know from the get-go that you’re not a good fit—whether it’s because you live too far away, have a vastly different lifestyle, or aren’t aligned in your goals—be respectful enough to bow out gracefully instead of misleading her. It’s frustrating for women when men try to engage in conversations or flirtations that they know won’t lead anywhere. Women who are serious about finding a meaningful connection are looking for someone who aligns with their values and desires. If you don’t meet those criteria, be honest with yourself and don’t waste her time—or your own—trying to pursue something that’s not a good match.

3. Your Writing Skills Are Lacking

High-quality women pay attention to details, and one of those details is how you communicate. If your messages are full of poor grammar, lack punctuation, or are riddled with text-speak (“how r u?”), she’ll quickly assume you’re either uneducated or not putting in the effort. If you can’t be bothered to write properly, it’s a red flag that you might not be serious about her—or dating in general.

Show her you’re invested by taking the time to write clear, thoughtful messages. Smart, educated women will appreciate the effort, and it’ll set you apart from the crowd.

4. You Have Poor Conversational Skills

A successful conversation isn’t just about talking—it’s about listening, responding thoughtfully, and keeping the dialogue flowing. Many men get unmatched because they answer questions but fail to ask any in return. A conversation should feel like a two-way street.

Make sure to actively engage with what she’s sharing and always show interest in her life. Don’t just offer a one-sentence response and leave her to pick up the slack. Ask questions about her interests, her goals, and her experiences. Make it clear you’re invested in getting to know her, not just chatting for the sake of it.

5. You Take Too Long to Respond

Women who know their worth are quick to recognize when a man is truly interested. If she’s waiting over 24 hours for a response, she’ll start wondering whether you really care. When you’re excited about someone, you reply quickly—ideally within hours, but definitely before the day ends. Taking longer than that is a big red flag.

If you’re serious about dating, prioritize your conversations and respond in a timely manner. Waiting too long sends the message that she’s not a priority to you, which makes her question your level of commitment.

6. You Wait Too Long to Ask Her Out

It’s easy to think that women on dating apps just want to chat endlessly, but that’s not the case for women looking for something serious. If you’ve had a meaningful conversation, asked the right questions, and established a bit of connection, it’s time to make your move.

Successful women want to be asked out. They’re on dating apps hoping to meet someone they can build something real with. If you don’t take the next step and ask her out, she’s likely to lose interest or unmatch you. When the time is right, ask her on a real date—something specific and thoughtful (see “How to Ask a Woman Out on a Date“). Women appreciate men who know how to take charge and show intent.

7. How to Get a Second Chance If You Messed Up

If you’ve made any of the above mistakes and find yourself unmatching with great women, don’t give up. It’s not the end of the road. Sometimes, a fresh start is all you need.

Consider deleting your current profile and creating a new one to reset the process. If you feel the need to apologize for a past interaction, send a brief, sincere message like:

“Hey [Her Name], we matched previously, but I was distracted by other things. I really like your profile and I’m serious about finding a long-term partner. Would you be open to giving me another chance?”

Don’t be afraid to own up to your mistakes and show that you’ve learned from them. Many women are kind and forgiving, and they’ll appreciate the effort you put into coming back with genuine intent.

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To Sum-up

In the world of online dating, first impressions are critical. Don’t fall into the trap of laziness or playing it too cool. If you’re serious about finding a meaningful connection, show it. Put in the effort to craft thoughtful messages, maintain engaging conversations, and make sure you’re always respectful of her time. By following these steps, you’ll be on the right track to turning your next match into a real connection.

(you might also like: Six Surprising Reasons She Didn’t Swipe Right, What’s a Modern Old-Fashioned Gentleman, The True Lady)